Pain In The Right Hand

Working in the education sector has its pros and cons – andyou are wrapped somewhere in between trying to find your meaning.

It rarely happens that you get your passion job in the firsttry. And that’s the point. If you getit too easy, then, you might not appreciate it. Getting it by struggling,fighting for it and honing your skills behind the scenes adds more meaning tothe process and outcome.

Being in the education sphere, you are encouraged to lean onanything which revolves around you learning more.

But they fail to understand economics, practicality, andrequirements of a modern workspace.

Research is given the first and most of the attention. Andit should be given too. But being a business point, you have to maximize thingswhich gets more revenue. So many of the people, including me, struggled tosurvive and get along in the boat. This was partly because it wasn’t providinga viable environment for growth and partly because there was no decision whichwas making sense for the more significant growth of the organization.

Food on the table, rent every month and a basic standard ofliving are essential. So you do this job despite its apparent challenges.

Romance And Breakup

College romances are the best because both of you are naïve,full of hormones and elastic to handle any breakups.

Love happens in the air; often,it is lust. And it happened with me too. I was in college, our eyes met,and the magic was created.

From days to a week and now months, our relationship lookedstrong like ever. Almost everyone in the college knew of our banter andsometimes used to tease us too. The happiness was growing through the roof.

And one beautiful day, the judgement day happened. I didn’tdo anything wrong and nor did she. However, themagic disappeared, and it became painful to bear each other. So the harshwords were spoken – we are breaking up. And that’s how my first break uphappened. I was relieved.

Or so I thought. The first few days were okay then the painin the heart was unbearable. She seemed to have moved on. And I was herecraving her more than ever.

The world seemed dull, tears used to roll down my cheeks,and there were many lonely nights. Each day was getting sadder.

The Daily Problem

Each day my right hand would pain by the end of workinghours. And it would subside later so that I would forget about it.

Next day, the sameroutine would continue.

It used to mess me up. So I started using the left hand forhalf the time. And the pain doesn’t come. So I did end up finding a solution.But this involved using the right hand for mouse half the time and using theleft mouse for half the time.

When I needed to write something, I would type fast and thenrest by stretching my right hand.

A new habit developed in which I used to keep my right handstretched down and start my day by using my left hand often.

This wasn’t my routine because I was right-handed. Althoughslowly I had gotten used to this new habit, I did want to use both my hands andbe free. Since this doesn’t seem like a big nuisance, I didn’t share this withanyone.

So the shift was happening on the daily struggle, doingsomething with the right hand, pain coming in and then me switching my hand orrelaxing. It sort became a new and weird daily routine.

The Pain Grew

Since it was my first breakup, I didn’t know what to do. SoI cried like hell every night. My mom probably knew, but she didn’t bother me.Also, how long will I be dependent on the parents for the new emotions and waysto tackle them.

It was hard to describe the feeling – it seemed the worldhad stopped, and there was no hope in the world.

The feelings for her had intensified. When in arelationship, I cared for her ‘X’ times. Now that she has gone, the emotionsand care had more than quadrupled.

My studies got impacted. And the worst part was that shedidn’t seem to care. Whenever the paths would cross, she would ignore me. Andthat hurt like a hole in the heart. The person you loved the most didn’t evencare to say a simple hi.

The questioning of promises starts – all those moments wherethey lie? You go in self-analysis and doubt everything that has happened in thepast.

But since you aren’t sharing the pain with anyone, all thesolutions are silly and only land you in more pain than you begin with.

And Just Like That

The pain in the right hand was gone, but I didn’t like theway I worked. Using left hand, stretching in between seemed like a not-askedfor the disturbance.

One beautiful day, my colleague saw me doing the gymnasticswith hand, and she suggested lifting the seat, aligning the computer to anangle so that the forearm could rest without one arm being stretched.

And voila the pain in my right hand had gone.

It turns out; the problem was the angle of the computerwhich was putting a strain on my right-hand shoulder.

Similarly, in my love story too – changing the angle ofnarrative, she dumped me because it wasn’t working. Not because I wasincompetent helped me to accept things and move on.

Just like that.

Sometimes, looking at things through a different lens helpsa lot. Simple solutions exist; you have to look for it.

Or else, you will keep on juggling complicated things, andthe pain will keep knocking on your door. Do something different – tryingchanging the angle.