Witnessing Assault, Starving and Leveling Up With Free Education

Growing up, I was a shy kid, often resorting to watching cartoons like Dexter. The genius of the cartoon intrigued me, and an ambition ignited. I wanted to grow up and become a scientist.

What would happen if you could see the future and know that you didn’t become a scientist? I would get shattered, but thankfully, time travel isn’t invented yet. So, I continued being a kid and studying hard. I wasn’t a topper, but I was constantly in the top 10 kids in my school. And I was particularly good in science and mathematics. This cemented the idea that I would grow up to be a scientist.

Game Boss Level 1 — Alcoholic Father

My father starts his day at 5 AM in the morning waiting at the Airport. The potential passengers keep passing him by to opt for a handsome cab driver. And it wouldn’t help that my father would keep chewing betel leaves. He would smell of sweat because he would be awake from last night. And then someone would finally take his cab. Slowly, he would reach the destination and get his Rs.500 for the day. He could choose to find more passengers but he didn’t. He would only work till Rs. 500.

Once he got this money, he would head towards the wine shop and buy alcohol. Drink like a mad man and then give a party to his friends. Slipping, wandering, and somehow defying death, he will reach home via train. The cab is rented and needs to be given back to the owner. At 11 AM, my mother would open the door of the house. Drenched in sweat, alcohol and betel leaf smell, my father would give Rs. 150 to my mother. On the way, he would give vegetables to neighbours because he wants to feel rich. But then my mother would get only a minuscule amount to somehow survive the day. With 3 kids, their education, and no insurance of any kind, things were grim. The only hope was my mother’s brother, who would help with money when in need. And we were always in need.

Somedays, my father would eat and sleep by 1 PM. Other days, he would have a fight with my mother and beat her up. I was a kid, but I knew this was wrong. But there was nothing I could do. For all things, we used to borrow and beg. I remember, the neighbours would often give their disregarded clothes to me or the leftover meal. Every time a calamity hit, like a fever or an accident or school fees, we had to borrow money — sometimes from my uncle or neighbours. Clothes were torn, food was less, and it was a chaotic life.

All of this happened in 1 day, and it used to happen daily. My father had many good qualities, but these bad qualities made him in total negative.

Days passed, years passed, and I was old enough to retaliate. Like every day, my Dad came stumbling home, drunk. And one thing led to another; he started hitting the Mother. And as usual, we all stood there doing nothing. Until I snapped. And I came between my Dad and Mother. He slapped him. Hard enough to loosen my tooth. I stood there and picked up a piece of furniture with the intent to hurt him. He was furious, but I stood my ground. And from this day onwards, I and my other brothers would come in between whenever we could. No one deserves a beating. And my mother endured it for years, and now I owe my life to her.

I always wondered how this would end. I was still in college and we were still dependent on our Dad for everything, little did he offer.

And one fine day, he came home and felt sick. It seemed like a usual affair. He used to do this gimmick every now and then to skip going to work. And then he didn’t go to the next day. And then the next day. Now, we were in serious trouble. My mother called my uncle, and he gave me some money and told my Dad to visit the Doctor. The Doctor diagnosed TB and gave my father TB medicine — a six-month course to complete and complete rest. This meant he would be home for six months. Also, no alcohol to be consumed. We were supported by our uncle for these six months. I saw my Dad not touch alcohol for months and take his medicine, but still, he was weakening. And then, one day, I saw him beating my mother, and I again stopped him. And that day, I realized it wasn’t alcohol that made him do the abuse. He was that person. Each day felt like a trouble. I started doing tuitions to support. My big brother started a part-time job to support us after college.

And one fine day, around the end of six months, my father vomited and saw his flesh in the vomit. My Dad said — let’s mortgage our house — I don’t want to die. And my mother said — No, the house is the only thing that shelters us from homelessness. You can beg for food but not for shelter. My Mother called our uncle, and he said let’s go to the hospital for screening and admission. The Doctor said it’s serious, probably cancer — let’s do the NMRI tomorrow and some other tests in the morning and some kind of surgery needs to be done asap. Every family member was intimated, and some rushed to check on him. And I was at home sleeping. I woke up in the morning to the news my Dad passed away in the morning. Frankly, yes it was sad because our source of support had gone. But also a relief that no one would beat my Mother again.

Game Boss Level 2 — Struggling for Food

Death is no stranger to us. I remember the death of my youngest brother. My mother had witnessed the death of 4 of her kids, and now 2 of them remain. It’s a cruel thing for a mother to witness the death.

But for me, it was something beyond my understanding. People used to come, and some would console, others would shake their heads, and some could come for the property.

We had nothing but a house. But some relatives come in disguise to cry over my dead father to ask for the house share. My mom got furious and shoved them away. They had bought many varied biscuits and sweets. We threw all of them away in the dustbin. As a kid, it was harsh. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t eat those yummy biscuits.

When the only earning member in your family dies, and you have taken tonnes of debt already, you have no choice but to level up. And my big brother did exactly that. He sacrificed his studies to do the job. And absorbed the role of the man of the house. His job hunting started from doing odd jobs like catering, washing dishes and so on. Finally, after hunting, he got a job at an office. The work was a lot, and the pay was meagre. On that pay, we could barely survive. The salary day was important. One such day, the salary wasn’t credited — his boss said it would take 3 more days. And there was nothing in the home to cook food except some discarded waste of food to be thrown in the dustbin. We drank lots of water and asked Mother for food. She was helpless. In the night, we ate the discarded waste raw. Because there was nothing else to cook it. My stomach was paining, and the energy was draining. Those 3 days felt like hell. I sometimes wonder with all the advancement, why we couldn’t provide food for all humans on Earth.

My brother was fed up with the job, so he kept searching for a new job. He got a job at a SIM card retail shop. The pay was better, and our basic needs, plus a few other things, were sorted. He kept bringing clothes for us but nothing for himself. He sacrificed his desires and wants to fulfil his 2 brothers’ needs. And I did some tuition to do my bit. But everything was exactly like before. A sudden medical emergency and everything would get ruined.

There was no one left to take debt, and my uncle had been paralyzed and cheated on — so he couldn’t help. One day, the cable guy cut the connection, and there was no entertainment because we hadn’t paid the bill for so long. In our tea at home, there was no milk, and there wouldn’t be for the next 5 years or so. The food comprised lots of rice, dal, and that’s it. We couldn’t afford anything else. Amidst all these, my mom had arthritis, but there was no money to buy medicine and no insurance. She would go on to endure the physical pain without medicine for the next 5 years. One such night of pain, my mom asked to give her the suicide injection, the pain is unbearable. We gave her the normal pain medicine which we could afford. Seeing her in pain scarred all of us. 

Game Boss Level 3 — Can you Study for Free

My brother sacrificed his life to bring bread to the family. But it wasn’t enough. I was in 11th standard, and I studied Science at Menon college. I wasn’t a topper in the class, but my reasoning and persona attracted my physics teachers. So when I passed 11th standard, they offered me a coaching class admission. It was named ‘Brilliant’ and it’s fees was approximately 30,000 rupees — something my brother earned in 6 months to feed the family. I said I didn’t have the money. They said — they don’t need the money. They will pay my coaching fees. They wanted me to have the best coaching possible. And boy, the coaching was top-notch. Looking back, I realize that I learnt so much and my brain exploded with curiosity and learning in the 12th standard. Also, it made me who I am today. It built my character, and I learnt so much that it made me a lifelong learner. The 12th result came, and I scored around 80 percent. It was good but not enough to score a seat in engineering colleges. I couldn’t afford any engineering college where there were any fees. I was looking for 100 % scholarship. Menon college didn’t had engineering so I was looking for different colleges. None would admit me for a 100 % scholarship, and my mother said she had nothing to pay for fees. We were barely getting by.

Then one friend of mine said his father could help. My friend got an admission in BSc IT. These were considered the second best option if you didn’t get an engineering. I met his father, a cordial person and warm. He said he will help me. But he didn’t give me money for admission required for BSc IT. He asked me to come to the college. There was this teacher whom he tried to convince. And asked me to visit them every day to help you. I visited with my certificates for 2 months. Sometimes with him and sometimes alone. Every time, that teacher would promise me something. And I would keep assuring that my marks are good. Because for BSc IT you needed good marks in Mathematics. And I had more than 90 % marks in Mathematics. My dad’s father had the money and I wondered why he didn’t give me money. I would pay him back later. But he never offered, and I never asked. My hopes would shatter after 2 months when both said — they tried their best, but nothing could be done.

All my friends had taken the admission, and I was at home. Months passed by, and now it was 6 months in, and the first semester was approaching for others in college. I was sad and had accepted the fact that I would sit at home for this year and try again next year. But between this, I need to figure out the money for my studies. And then my mother said — your teachers in high school had helped you get admission in coaching, maybe ask them for help. I called via a public phone — I had only 1 rupee given by my mother. I said — I need help and my voice became sombre. The teacher asked me to come to college the next day. When I entered the college teacher’s room, my physics teachers were all seated. I cried my heart out and reached for help. They all consoled me and said — don’t worry if you can’t do engineering, let’s get you admission in our college in a normal graduate degree in Physics. But 6 months had passed, and I would be an anomaly. They asked me to accompany them to their Chairmen’s office and the vibe was of a temple. Everyone took their shoes outside, and we entered. An argument ensued between them. Teachers were asking and literally begging to allow me to get admission mid year and complete my studies and they will pay the fees. And the Chairmen pointed out that I am here for desperation and not out of choice. I was in a blur, slowly zoning out, fearing nothing would come out of it. And then, after an intense hour-long discussion, I was given permission to admit.

Conclusion — Looking Back and Ahead

I am now working in a government organization and am happy. But when I look back, all the circumstances were bad, and if it weren’t for the unsung heroes in my life who guided me, supported me, and literally paid for my fees to study, I wouldn’t have become what I am today.

It takes a village to raise a kid. Also, it takes a whole community of good-hearted people to compel a family out of poverty and live a dignified life on their own.

I am in debt forever and I will pay it forward. Thank you for seeing a glimpse into my life. Hope it fuels something inside you. Leap on, faith on and let’s do a small good.